A GOOD MARRIAGE IS BASED ON TRUST IN EACH OTHER

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3.... Children are generally trusting by nature; if they experience disappointment and hurt, however, they learn to doubt others. Likewise, young lovers often enter marriage having complete faith in one another, but a single act of disloyalty, however small, can shatter that trust, undermining and perhaps ruining the marriage relationship. If your trust in each other remains pristine, if you feel you have no cause to doubt one another, recognize this as a true blessing! Cherish and protect that trust. It may seem rock-solid to you, but it is a fragile thing and so difficult to repair if broken. There are many levels of unfaithfulness, ranging from the secret thoughts of the heart, to the adultery of the eyes, to the emotional infidelity of inappropriate “friendships” both in the real world and on the internet, and all the way to physical acts of betrayal. Fight it at the heart level, and you won’t have to worry about the rest. God will help you there. In fact, it’s only with His help that you can win this battle. 1 Corinthians 4:2 says, “Those who have been given a trust prove faithful.” Your spouse has given you their complete trust. Don’t betray it. In your actions, in your thoughts, In the depths of your heart, be completely worthy.

BELIEVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, THINGS WILL WORK OUT RIGHT.

“I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.... You and your spouse may think you have your entire life mapped out. You know where you are going, and you have figured out the way to get there. But be forewarned: You may run into delays and detours. In fact, God may ultimately have in mind for you a change in destination. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” It’s hard to discern what is happening when things go awry along life’s journey. Did we mark the map correctly? Did we make the right turn? Have we missed important intersections? Something’s wrong. Nothing looks familiar. This is not the direction we are supposed to be going. We must be lost! When panic begins to set in, pull over for a few moments, shut off the car, and breathe a little prayer. Ask God to calm your fears and help you understand what he’s doing in your life. Fold up your map, put it away, and pray for new direction, asking God to not only show you the way but ride with you and be your guide. Then turn the key, shift into gear, and head down the highway, trusting in the Lord’s goodness and His ability to take you where He knew all along you needed to go!

REMEMBER YOUR VOWS. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TRUE

Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all the living creatures of every kind on the earth. Genesis 9:16.... If your child were to ask you what the stones on your wedding ring mean, would you be able to say precisely? Perhaps you could talk about how your ring symbolizes unending love, devotion, and commitment, but would you be able to remember and discuss all the promises you made to your spouse on your wedding day? If not, how do you know you are keeping your vows? After the Israelites crossed the Jordan River and entered the Promised Land, the Lord instructed them to pick twelve stones from the middle of the river, which he had caused to stop flowing, and set them up as a reminder of this miraculous event. God said, “In the future, when your children ask you, ‘what do these stones mean?’ tell them….” (Joshua 4:6-7). He meant for the stones to be a permanent memorial to His people of the specific events of that day. Here’s a thought: why not memorize your wedding vows? It wouldn’t be any harder than learning the pledge of allegiance. You probably have them recorded somewhere, on paper or video. Commit them to memory so that every time you look at your wedding ring, you can recite them, meditate on each one, and rededicate yourself to keeping them. Remembering promises is so important that God Himself makes it a priority.

WORK HARD BUT TAKE TIME TO PLAY, TOO!

God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11.... Have you ever seen those desktop pool table, with their little cue sticks and tiny balls? It seems silly for a respectable businessperson to have one in the office, let alone play with it- Yet it’s amazing how relaxing, refreshing, and rejuvenating a few moments of fun in the middle of a hectic, stressful day can be. That must also explain dartboards, Nerf basketballs, and those hanging steel balls that knock each other back and forth. We might think of taking time to play in terms of a full-blown vacation that includes travel, great dining, and lots of entertainment. But for married couples, more often it means a weekend getaway, or just an hour or two in the evening, or maybe even simply a couple of stolen minutes of fun. Don’t burn yourself out with all work and no play, settling for daydreams about your big summer trip. Every now and then shut off the vacuum cleaner, sit down at the piano, and play a song. Close the word processer on your PC and double click a favorite computer game instead. Go for a short bike ride and enjoy the sunshine. Practice your putting. Better yet, call your mate at work and say, “Honey, is there any way you can get out of your meeting this afternoon?” Your spouse is probably just shooting pool anyway.

PUT EACH OTHER FIRST, DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR SPOUSE IN MIND.

The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve. Mark 10:45.... There are two ways to go about marriage. One is to think about your needs; the other is to concentrate on the needs of your spouse. If each partner selfishly demands that the other meet their needs, the relationship will be characterized by disappointment, resentment, and bitterness. On the other hand, if each partner lovingly strives to fulfill the other’s needs, the marriage will be characterized by mutual satisfaction, gratefulness, and joy. That’s God’s way of doing things. The bible says your attitude should be just like Christ’s, who, “being in the very nature of God, took on the very nature of a servant” (Philippians 2:6-7). If anybody had a right to demand service, it was Jesus! But He loved His disciples enough to stop and wash their feet. You may fear that if you don’t focus on your own needs, you’ll be taken advantage of. But if you trusts God’s wisdom and focus on your partner’s needs, the likelihood is that you’ll be doubly blessed! When your spouse senses that you have their well- being in mind and are trying to meet their needs, your spouse will usually reciprocate enthusiastically. Plus, you’ll find there is an additional satisfaction and joy to be found in serving the one you love, because truly. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). HOW will you do to serve your spouse today?

LERAN TO PUT UP WITH HIS LITTLE QUIRKS- HE’S LEARNED TO PUT UP WITH YOURS.

Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Ephesians 4::2.... Whether traveling across the plains in a Conestoga wagon or touring the country in a motor home, spouses have always irritated each other. A woman whose husband insists on re-double checking the tire pressure gets just as annoyed as the woman whose mate kept stopping to examine the horseshoes. If toothpaste came in tubes back then, surely one of those spouse squeezed it wrong. And it’s a safe bet that at least one pair of socks got left on the prairie because some wife had had enough of her husband’s habit of throwing dirty clothes everywhere. If it’s a simple matter for you to change a little quirk that gets on your spouse’s nerves, make the change. Anything you can do to promote harmony in your home will pay great dividends. Your partner will thank you, and you won’t have to endure anymore nagging (at least on that issue). And if your loved one does some small thing that rubs you the wrong way, communicate your feelings constructively- once. Beyond that, overlook the behavior Decide that it’s not worth getting upset about and fighting over. Correct the “error” when and if necessary, joke about it occasionally, and choose to love your spouse all the more for their endearing foibles. Rather than constantly pointing out your partners faults, focus on what you can do to travel through life together peacefully!

MARRY SOMEONE WHO'S A GOOD COOK!

Eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2.... They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That may or may not be true in love and marriage, but good food- delicious, satisfying, life-giving, and nutritious- is the key when it comes to a relationship with God, and such a relationship is the foundation of a good marriage. So even if you and your spouse are unfamiliar with recipe books, don’t neglect to spend time and get acquainted with the bible. God’s words themselves are food for the soul. Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words too my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Not only will the bible lead you and your mate to a closer relationship with your heavenly Father, but it contains a wealth of wisdom for nurturing and enhancing your relationship with each other. The bible will also point you to God’s Son. Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall never hunger…If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever.” In the gospels we are introduced to Christ, we walk with Him and get to know Him, we hear His words and learn from Him. And in Him our deepest hunger is satisfied!