A GOOD MARRIAGE IS BASED ON TRUST IN EACH OTHER

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3.... Children are generally trusting by nature; if they experience disappointment and hurt, however, they learn to doubt others. Likewise, young lovers often enter marriage having complete faith in one another, but a single act of disloyalty, however small, can shatter that trust, undermining and perhaps ruining the marriage relationship. If your trust in each other remains pristine, if you feel you have no cause to doubt one another, recognize this as a true blessing! Cherish and protect that trust. It may seem rock-solid to you, but it is a fragile thing and so difficult to repair if broken. There are many levels of unfaithfulness, ranging from the secret thoughts of the heart, to the adultery of the eyes, to the emotional infidelity of inappropriate “friendships” both in the real world and on the internet, and all the way to physical acts of betrayal. Fight it at the heart level, and you won’t have to worry about the rest. God will help you there. In fact, it’s only with His help that you can win this battle. 1 Corinthians 4:2 says, “Those who have been given a trust prove faithful.” Your spouse has given you their complete trust. Don’t betray it. In your actions, in your thoughts, In the depths of your heart, be completely worthy.

BELIEVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, THINGS WILL WORK OUT RIGHT.

“I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.... You and your spouse may think you have your entire life mapped out. You know where you are going, and you have figured out the way to get there. But be forewarned: You may run into delays and detours. In fact, God may ultimately have in mind for you a change in destination. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” It’s hard to discern what is happening when things go awry along life’s journey. Did we mark the map correctly? Did we make the right turn? Have we missed important intersections? Something’s wrong. Nothing looks familiar. This is not the direction we are supposed to be going. We must be lost! When panic begins to set in, pull over for a few moments, shut off the car, and breathe a little prayer. Ask God to calm your fears and help you understand what he’s doing in your life. Fold up your map, put it away, and pray for new direction, asking God to not only show you the way but ride with you and be your guide. Then turn the key, shift into gear, and head down the highway, trusting in the Lord’s goodness and His ability to take you where He knew all along you needed to go!

REMEMBER YOUR VOWS. THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE TRUE

Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all the living creatures of every kind on the earth. Genesis 9:16.... If your child were to ask you what the stones on your wedding ring mean, would you be able to say precisely? Perhaps you could talk about how your ring symbolizes unending love, devotion, and commitment, but would you be able to remember and discuss all the promises you made to your spouse on your wedding day? If not, how do you know you are keeping your vows? After the Israelites crossed the Jordan River and entered the Promised Land, the Lord instructed them to pick twelve stones from the middle of the river, which he had caused to stop flowing, and set them up as a reminder of this miraculous event. God said, “In the future, when your children ask you, ‘what do these stones mean?’ tell them….” (Joshua 4:6-7). He meant for the stones to be a permanent memorial to His people of the specific events of that day. Here’s a thought: why not memorize your wedding vows? It wouldn’t be any harder than learning the pledge of allegiance. You probably have them recorded somewhere, on paper or video. Commit them to memory so that every time you look at your wedding ring, you can recite them, meditate on each one, and rededicate yourself to keeping them. Remembering promises is so important that God Himself makes it a priority.

WORK HARD BUT TAKE TIME TO PLAY, TOO!

God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11.... Have you ever seen those desktop pool table, with their little cue sticks and tiny balls? It seems silly for a respectable businessperson to have one in the office, let alone play with it- Yet it’s amazing how relaxing, refreshing, and rejuvenating a few moments of fun in the middle of a hectic, stressful day can be. That must also explain dartboards, Nerf basketballs, and those hanging steel balls that knock each other back and forth. We might think of taking time to play in terms of a full-blown vacation that includes travel, great dining, and lots of entertainment. But for married couples, more often it means a weekend getaway, or just an hour or two in the evening, or maybe even simply a couple of stolen minutes of fun. Don’t burn yourself out with all work and no play, settling for daydreams about your big summer trip. Every now and then shut off the vacuum cleaner, sit down at the piano, and play a song. Close the word processer on your PC and double click a favorite computer game instead. Go for a short bike ride and enjoy the sunshine. Practice your putting. Better yet, call your mate at work and say, “Honey, is there any way you can get out of your meeting this afternoon?” Your spouse is probably just shooting pool anyway.

PUT EACH OTHER FIRST, DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR SPOUSE IN MIND.

The Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve. Mark 10:45.... There are two ways to go about marriage. One is to think about your needs; the other is to concentrate on the needs of your spouse. If each partner selfishly demands that the other meet their needs, the relationship will be characterized by disappointment, resentment, and bitterness. On the other hand, if each partner lovingly strives to fulfill the other’s needs, the marriage will be characterized by mutual satisfaction, gratefulness, and joy. That’s God’s way of doing things. The bible says your attitude should be just like Christ’s, who, “being in the very nature of God, took on the very nature of a servant” (Philippians 2:6-7). If anybody had a right to demand service, it was Jesus! But He loved His disciples enough to stop and wash their feet. You may fear that if you don’t focus on your own needs, you’ll be taken advantage of. But if you trusts God’s wisdom and focus on your partner’s needs, the likelihood is that you’ll be doubly blessed! When your spouse senses that you have their well- being in mind and are trying to meet their needs, your spouse will usually reciprocate enthusiastically. Plus, you’ll find there is an additional satisfaction and joy to be found in serving the one you love, because truly. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). HOW will you do to serve your spouse today?

LERAN TO PUT UP WITH HIS LITTLE QUIRKS- HE’S LEARNED TO PUT UP WITH YOURS.

Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Ephesians 4::2.... Whether traveling across the plains in a Conestoga wagon or touring the country in a motor home, spouses have always irritated each other. A woman whose husband insists on re-double checking the tire pressure gets just as annoyed as the woman whose mate kept stopping to examine the horseshoes. If toothpaste came in tubes back then, surely one of those spouse squeezed it wrong. And it’s a safe bet that at least one pair of socks got left on the prairie because some wife had had enough of her husband’s habit of throwing dirty clothes everywhere. If it’s a simple matter for you to change a little quirk that gets on your spouse’s nerves, make the change. Anything you can do to promote harmony in your home will pay great dividends. Your partner will thank you, and you won’t have to endure anymore nagging (at least on that issue). And if your loved one does some small thing that rubs you the wrong way, communicate your feelings constructively- once. Beyond that, overlook the behavior Decide that it’s not worth getting upset about and fighting over. Correct the “error” when and if necessary, joke about it occasionally, and choose to love your spouse all the more for their endearing foibles. Rather than constantly pointing out your partners faults, focus on what you can do to travel through life together peacefully!

MARRY SOMEONE WHO'S A GOOD COOK!

Eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Isaiah 55:2.... They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That may or may not be true in love and marriage, but good food- delicious, satisfying, life-giving, and nutritious- is the key when it comes to a relationship with God, and such a relationship is the foundation of a good marriage. So even if you and your spouse are unfamiliar with recipe books, don’t neglect to spend time and get acquainted with the bible. God’s words themselves are food for the soul. Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words too my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Not only will the bible lead you and your mate to a closer relationship with your heavenly Father, but it contains a wealth of wisdom for nurturing and enhancing your relationship with each other. The bible will also point you to God’s Son. Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me shall never hunger…If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever.” In the gospels we are introduced to Christ, we walk with Him and get to know Him, we hear His words and learn from Him. And in Him our deepest hunger is satisfied!

KEEP YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT- RESPONCIBILITY AHEAD OF PLEASURE

Develop your business first before building your house. Proverbs 24:27.... Marital bliss isn’t all fun and games- never has been and never will be. Even Adam and Eve, living in the Garden of Eden, had work to do. And heaven will require responsibility as well as recreation. Rule one is, work before play. Gt your chores done, then have a good time. This is important to remember if you are the less responsible, more fun-loving partner. Playing while work goes undone will add to your spouse’s stress, not alleviate it. (But remember, you overly responsible types: the work is never done. Learn to relax.) Rule two is, needs before wants. Before you buy nonessentials, budget your money so you can pay bills, cover unexpected expenses, reduce debt, and save. When your finances are in order, you and your spouse can truly enjoy those little extras. Rule three is, Career before dream house. A home is a good investment, but don’t jump in over your head. Establish your livelihood first, let that determine your standard of living, and be content with how the Lord has chosen too bless you. Marriage involves a great deal of responsibility, but if you keep your priorities straight, it can be heavenly!

BE ABLE TO COMPROMISE WHEN THERE IS A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3.... Here’s a common dilemma between spouses: where to spend the holidays, with his family or hers? This is especially troublesome when both families are out of state, and visiting them involves a great deal of travel expense. What if a couple with young children can only afford to make one trip a year? Whose parents will bounce grandchildren on their knees Christmas morning, and whose will have to settle for three-by-fives in their greeting cards? Surely a compromise is in order. Working out an agreement that will satisfy both spouses requires communication, negotiation, creativity, and some give and take. After carefully listening to each other’s needs and desires, both partners must be willing to make sacrifices to accommodate one another. Then a happy medium can be reached. Perhaps the couple could visit his parents one year, and hers the next. Politics is the art of compromise- and so is marriage. Your willingness to compromise is an expression of your love for your spouse. It proves that you are concerned for your mate’s happiness as well as your own.

DON’T EXPECT EVERYTHING IN YOUR MARRIAGE TO BE PERFECT

I, Jesus…[AM] the bright morning star. Revelation 22:16.... “Once upon a time, they lived happily ever after.” There it is- the world’s shortest fairy tale. A bit lacking in detail, but it kind of captures the essence of all fairy tales, doesn’t it? The dreamy, romantic quality, the perfect, blissful ending- just right for bedtime storybooks, but as it turns out, not such a good model for marriages! You and your spouse have to live out your “ever after” in the real world, where things don’t always go so smoothly. That’s ok, as long as your expectations are in line with reality. The problem is, many of us cling to fairy-tale notion about married life, expect our partners to live up to them, and experience bitter disappointment and resentment when, despite all our wishing on stars, our dreams don’t exactly come true. So far the sake of our marriages, it’s time to say goodbye to never-never land. It’s time to embrace life as it really is and grapple with its challenges. It’s time to see our spouses as they really are, and not complain when the slipper falls off. But must we give up all our dreams? For believers, the answer is no. We simply look toward heaven and place our faith, our hope for eternal joy, in something more powerful than a wish.

ENJOY TH SIMPLE THINGS- LIKE LOOKING AT SUNSETS

From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Psalm 113:3.... When you and your spouse feel the need to get back to the basics, to look beyond the clutter and clamor of this bewildering, complicated world and see what really matters, just go outside together for a moment and gaze upward. No matter what time of day it is, you will witness God’s splendor- and you’ll be reminded that your primary purpose in living, the fundamental reason why the Lord created you both and brought you together, is to worship Him. Psalm 119:: 1-2 says, “The heavens declare the glory of God the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.” Whether you behold a sunrise or a sunset, whether the skies are blue or grey, whether you see a full moon or nothing but stars- God made it all, and He is worthy of adoration. Spend time with your spouse outdoors now and then, just enjoying the simple things, wondering at the beauty of God’s awesome works, and doing what the Lord created you to do. And when a butterfly floats out of the shy and alights nearby, examine it closely and consider, who but God cold have made such aa awesome, “simple” thing?

REMEMBER, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT!

Pride leads to arguments; those who take advice are wise. Proverbs 13:10.... The need to win every argument is a good indicator of a prideful nature. In contrast, a willingness to admit error points to a humble spirit. It’s no secret as to which the bible advocates. Proverbs 11:2 says, “Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Pride exacerbates dissent just as surely as do harsh, angry words, while humility promotes peaceful resolution. So the trick to reducing the amount of intensity of conflict in a marriage is, quite simply, to replace pride with humility. We must examine the condition of our heart. If we discover our attitude is one of stubbornness and pride, we should ask ourselves why. What is the root of our conceit? If we are honest with ourselves, we will often find that our pridefulness is a defense mechanism, a mask for feelings of uncertainty and inferiority. It’s a substitute for having the courage to say, “I don’t know” and risk losing the esteem of others. Pride is a stick we lean on t prop ourselves up; that’s why it often goes before the fall. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t have all the answers, and don’t hesitate to confess when you’re wrong. You don’t need a flimsy crutch like pride to stand tall- God promises to lift up those who humble themselves.

BE EACH OTHER’S VERY BEST FRIEND

The two of us have vowed friendship in god’s name. 1 Samuel 20:42.... Perhaps the most compelling example of friendship in the bible is that of David and Jonathan. They loved each other dearly; they took an oath of everlasting friendship; and Jonathan even gave David gifts as tokens of their bond. Their relationship is summed up in the words of 1 Samuel 18:1, “Jonathan became one in the spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” You and your spouse can and should be the best of friends. Like David and Jonathan, you can and should be soul mates. Follow their example and acknowledge your friendship. The next chance you get, take your partner by the hand and say, “you know, you really are my closest friend in the world.” Express how much your friendship means to you. And once in a while, on no particular occasion, surprise your spouse with a gift to celebrate and commemorate your friendship. Nurture the friendship component of your marriage by doing the things friends do: talking, having fun together, treating each other well, helping one another, standing up for each other, encouraging one another, forgiving each other. Take time to reflect that, just as David and Jonathan cemented their friendship with a solemn vow, you and your spouse have permanently sealed you friendship within the sacred covenant of matrimony. YOU have become BEST FRIENDS for life.

MAKE SURE YOUR DISPOSITIONS FIT. DON’T JUST “FALL IN LOVE.”

Be ye not unequally yoked together. 2 Corinthians 6:14.... Romantic love is a glorious thing, but it will not serve as the foundation for a marriage. For starters, it has to do with emotions, and emotions are unreliable. As desirable as romantic feelings are, they are not a sound enough foundation on which to build a lifelong relationship. A marriage that will endure the test of time must rest on a solid bedrock. Genesis 24 tells us the story of how Abraham, who was living among the ungodly inhabitants of a foreign land, sent a servant to his country to find a wife for his son Isaac from among his own people. Abraham wanted Isaac to marry a woman who would share his son’s beliefs and be committed to his principles. God guided the servant Rebekah, whose family was related to Abraham and knew the Lord. When the servant brought the girl to Isaac, “she became his wife, and he loved her” (Genesis 24:67). This couple experienced romance, but their relationship was based on something deeper. Jesus stated that only a house built on his truth would stand. If you are thinking about getting married, consider the wisdom of His words. If your marriage is based on mutual faith in Christ, you and your spouse can rejoice that your home rets secure. And if it isn’t, it’s not too late to redo the foundation. Today is the day of salvation, make him your ROCK, your SHIELD, and your SALVATION!

NEVER GO TO SLEEP ANGRY

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8.... What goes through your head when you lie in bed at night? Are you silently thanking the Lord for all He has done for you during the day? Or are you quietly stewing over a disagreement you had with your spouse that afternoon? Are you praying for loved ones, asking God to bless them and watch over them through the night, or are you mentally ticking off a list of grievances your spouse has caused you and delineating each of your partner’s negative qualities? Your mate may be fast asleep beside you, total unaware of your anger. Perhaps you failed to express it properly at the appropriate time, and now it’s all bottled up inside you. Or maybe you made your feelings known but weren’t able to completely forgive your spouse, and now you feel justified in holding on to at least some resentment. In any case, although your attitude will harm both of you in the long run, right now you are the one who is suffering and losing sleep. Release your anger by fully and unconditionally forgiving your partner, tearing up your internal list of complaints, and meditating on your spouse’s positive traits instead. God promises us forgiveness when we are willing to forgive others, and peace when we focus on the good in those around us.

DON’T TRY TO CHANGE EACH OTHER

Honor God by accepting each other, as Christ has accepted you. Romans 15:7.... There are core aspects of each individual that are hardwired into their personality. No matter how hard you try, you won’t ever be able to change them. You will never turn someone who is basically reserved into a person who is naturally outspoken and gregarious. A generally detailed oriented person will always struggle when dealing with abstract, nebulous circumstances. Every personality trait has positive, beneficial qualities, as well as the potential to produce negative results. The downside of a good personality trait usually becomes apparent when it is carried to extremes. For example, a person’s imbued with strong leadership qualities and a decisive nature may go too far and step on others’ toes. Someone with a great work ethic might go overboard and become a workaholic, bringing harm to the relationship with their spouse and children. However, in His wisdom God brings into marriage two people whose personalities mesh, supplementing each other’s strengths, making up for each other’s weaknesses, and moderating one another’s tendency toward excess. The secret is not to try to change the person the Lord gave you as your spouse but to receive them with acceptance, join with them enthusiastically, and help bring out the best of their God given personality!

BUSY HANDS MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE!

Sow your seeds in the morning, and in the evening let not your hands be idle. Ecclesiastes 11:6.... It’s good to be busy, but not too busy. As with so many things in life, it’s all a matter of degree. The commands diligence but warns against working to much; it offers rest for the weary and sleep for God’s loved ones yet condemns excessive idleness. So where do you draw the line? Get the sleep you need but don’t become a sluggard. Balance your time together with time for yourselves, time with your children, time with friends, and time with the Lord. Balance spending to meet your needs with giving to supply the needs of the poor. Balance looking after your interests with considering the well-being of others. Balance seriousness with laughter, the newspaper headlines with the funny pages, news reports with comedy and cartoons, praying about the world’s problems with enjoying the wonders of God’s creation. If the scale of busyness must tip one way or the other, however, it’s a safe bet to lean towards working hard. If idleness truly is the devil’s playground, then it’s better to keep yourself occupied with worthwhile pursuits and stay out of trouble.

PRAY WITH EACH OTHER AND FOR EACH OTHER DAILY

The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results James 5:16.... Praying for your spouse has an immediate, strong emotional effect on you. Not only are you privy to your partners inner self as they pour out their needs and desire to God, but when your mate begins to pray for you, as, asking the Lord to grant your deepest longings and help you in your most guarded areas of weakness, you are struck by how well you are known, how thoroughly you are understood, and how much you are loved. However, prayer is much more than an emotional experience. As you pray for your loved ones, you are inviting the almighty God to act in their lives, to move in their circumstances, to mold their characters, to change the very attitudes of their heart. You are unleashing the power of Good to protect and provide, to nurture and guide and bless. What more meaningful thing could you do for the people you cherish? Proverbs 15:8 says, “The Lord delights in the prayers of the upright.” This scripture provides a powerful incentive for godliness. When we realize that our conduct affects the way God hears our prayers for ourselves, our spouse, and our children, we begin to recognize the eternal ramifications of our sinfulness. Thankfully, though, Jesus offers His righteousness in exchange for our imperfection- and when we make the trade, our prayer become music to God’ ears. Today I the perfect day to begin praying with your spouse!

TO HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE WORK AS A TEAM

Everyone who planted the seed and everyone who harvests the crop will celebrate together. John 4:36.... A precise division of labor can be very helpful to your marriage relationship. Deciding together who will take care of which chores around the home ensures that you and your spouse agree on which tasks need to be done and who will be responsible for them. This lays a framework of clear expectations and accountability to one another. Without such an agreement, things slip through the cracks and go undone, and you may end up pointing a fingers at each other, arguing over who is to blame. When assigning tasks, take into account each partner’s strength and weaknesses. This is more important consideration than traditional gender roles. If one of you is better with numbers than the other, for example, that person should be the one to maintain the checkbook and keep track of your finances. decisions regarding income, spending, investing, and borrowing will of course be made together, o communicating with one another about the state of your finances is important. But paying the bills, balancing the checkbook, and other such duties can, and probably should be handled by one person alone. Teamwork is the name of the game. Both of you will benefit when you work together to maintain a happy home, each of you faithfully pulling your share of the load, counting on each other to get the job done. What will you start doing today to balance the load in your marriage?

LEARN TO BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30.... God’s tenth commandment says, “Do not covet your neighbor’s house….or anything else your neighbor owns” (Exodus 20:17). But what about family and friends? Sometimes the desire to keep pace with them is more of a problem than wanting to keep up with the Joneses. The Lord may bless our friends and the members of our extended family differently from the way He blesses us. These are the people we are closest to, the people we relate to and identify with most. When we see then prosper financally and begin to enjoy more and better material possessions, we may struggle with conflicting emotions. Of course we are happy for them and rejoice with them in their good fortune, but despite ourselves we may also experience pangs of jealously that lead to discontentment with the things God has given us. The only cure for envy and discontentment is gratitude. If you are wrestling with these feelings, try adopting a “desert Island” perspective. Envision yourself living with your immediate family, with all your belongings, on an otherwise uninhabited island. There’s no one else in sight, nobody to compete with, nothing to compare your possessions to. Imagine how thankful you would be for each blessing the Lord has bestowed! They key to contentment is to focus gratefully on what God has done for you…

KEEP TWO COZY CHAIRS SIDE BY SIDE, AND ENJOY TIME EACH DAY JUST SITTING TOGETHER

My lover is mine, and I am his Song of Songs 2:16.... He closes the sliding glass door with one hand, holding two cups of coffee with the other. Carefully he makes his way to where she is sitting on their deck, watching the orange of the sunset begin to fade. Their favorite sitting place is nothing fancy, just a couple of comfortable patio chairs on the old wooden deck they jokingly refer to as “the west terrace.” It’s where they like to spend a few moments together every evening, just being together and enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. The phone rings inside the house, but they let the answering machine pick it up. “Kids are asleep”, he says with a grin, handing her a cup. “Thanks,” she says smiling. As he sits beside her, she thinks about how glad she is they made a pact a long time ago to leave the TV off for an hour after the children were put to bed, to give themselves some time to sit outside, unwind from the day, and connect. They chitchat and laugh, enjoying the cool air and each other’s company as they watch the stars come out. For a while each evening they shut out all distractions and focus on one another. They belong to each other and no one else. She sips her coffee and reflects, it’s a gift we’ve given ourselves.

MARRY A HARD WORKER AND A GOOD PROVIDER.

Those who work hard will prosper and be satisfied Proverbs 13.4.... Ladies, you’ve heard this time-honored counsel before, and it’s worth heeding. A hard-working nature is the hallmark of a godly man, and the Lord will use such to provide for your needs for food, clothing, and shelter, making you feel loved and safe and secure. The alternative is not good. According to Ecclesiastes 10:18; if you marry a lazy man, your hose will be in poor repair. You may end up carrying an umbrella indoors-if the roof doesn’t cave in altogether! But gentleman, this is good advice for you as well, Proverbs 31 describes a wife of noble character, and she is depicted as a woman who applies herself to her duties with enthusiasm, intelligence, and vigor. Not one to be idle, she works hard to care for her family and diligently manages the affairs of the home. “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life” (Proverbs 31:11). Both he and their children consider her blessed. Maintaining a healthy marriage relationship is, in and of itself work. So is earning money, keeping up the house and yard, raising children, and a myriad of other chores that come with married life. Find a mate who is up to the task, and together you can work hard to build a home.

LEARN FROM OTHERS. GOOD FAMILY ROLE MODELS CAN HELP

He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, Just as his father David had done. 2 Kings 18:3.... God’s Word comes to us in a multitude of ways. He has made His wisdom for living available in written form, the bible, so we can learn to love each other and please Him. The gospels tell about the life of Jesus, God’s Word in human form, our ultimate role model for right living. However, God’s Word becomes particularly meaningful, powerful, and effective in our lives today when it is manifested in the people around us. Members of our family who have chosen to follow Christ and have allowed God’s Word to sink into their hearts and actions have a dramatic impact on our lives as we listen to them, observe their behavior, and strive to walk in their footsteps. The apostle Paul wrote, “Follow my example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). God wants us to benefit from the faithful role models He has placed in our lives. If the Lord has blessed you with family members who set a godly in their work, their play, their relationships, and their marriage, learn from them and try hard to emulate them. God created the family as a potent means of molding character and teaching about life. Good family role models can lead us on the right path and help us become people worth following.

ALWAYS RESPECT ONE ANOTHER

Respect everyone and show special love for God’s people 1 Peter 2:17.... Parents of young children are often reminded- as when their five-year-old demands, “Get me something to eat!” –of the value of good manners. It’s surprising how much difference a simple “please” can make. Simple gestures of politeness go a long way in helping people interact smoothly and harmoniously. Married couples sometimes need to be reminded that it’s important to continue showing each other the same consideration they did when they were dating. One of the reasons courtship is so romantic is that starry-eyed lovers are always on their best behavior, treating each other with decency and respect. Their every word and action indicates that they value and appreciate one another. Practicing politeness requires forethought and effort, however. It’s interesting to note that good manners do not come easily- children must learn them and then practice them. Youngsters tend to think of themselves first, before considering others’ needs. As adults, unfortunately, we are not entirely free of that inclination. Human nature sometimes causes us to indulge in selfish, disrespectful, immature behavior- which only leads to hurt feelings and resentment. Nobody likes to be treated rudely or taken for granted. Start today by offering your spouse simple tokens of respect it conveys esteem, recognition, and regard. It validates the dignity and worth of the person you love the most

LEARN TO LOVE AND APPPRECIATE THE GOOD IN EACH OTHER

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 1 Corinthians 13:6.... Are people basically Good or bad? The bibles answer to this philosophical question is “both.” God’s Word clearly states that every person inherited the nature of Adam and Eve, who committed the original sin by disobeying God in the Garden of Eden. However, all of us share something else with our ancestors: we bear the image of God. When the Lord created human beings, he declared them to be very good. In relating to your spouse, the question is, should we focus on the good or the bad? The answer is, both. We must accept the whole person, imperfection and all. However, you’ll want to celebrate your spouse’s positive qualities. Express your appreciation for their admirable traits, and congratulate your spouse on the things they do well. You will encourage your partner and foster their continued character development. Deal with the negative aspects of your spouse in the same way God chooses to handle imperfection- gracefully and lovingly. Proverbs 10:12 says, “Love covers all wrongs.” Embrace you beloved as is, warts and all, with every virtue and vice. However, cherish, accentuate, and build upon the positive.

This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him 1 John 4:9.... John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not parish but have eternal life.” When your heavenly Father wanted to express His love, He gave up what was most precious to Him: His Son, Jesus. Christ in return gave up His life to reveal His love. Are you willing to give up everything for your spouse? If the need arose, would you be willing to die for them? Perhaps you would. For most of us, though, there is a more pressing question, and we are called to give up our life in a different way, one that may be even harder. The question is, are you willing to live for your spouse? Are you willing to pour out your life each day for your beloved? If the greatest expression of love is self-sacrifice, then God and Jesus have set the standard. They have raised the bar to the highest standard. Our greatest response to Their sacrificial love for us is to reciprocate, loving Them both with all our being and giving ourselves for Their sake. Love is also to sacrifice for the one whom They cherish beyond measure- YOUR spouse. So, are you willing to give your life for your spouse? START NOW!

LEARN TO TALK THINGS OVER

The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters Proverbs 18:4.... When two people get married, they need to find a way to understand each other, or the relationship will soon be in trouble. If they are wise, they will do one of two things; either learn to read minds or polish their communication skills. A common problem couples face is that both spouses think their partner ought to be able, in some mysterious way, to perceive what they are thinking and feeling. For whatever reason, at some point the idea if he loves me, he should know what I need- without my having to tell him! Gets implanted in their heads. And of course, this expectation goes unspoken. Words are mighty tools for nurturing intimacy, maintaining unity, resolving conflict, and sharing hopes and dreams. Language, ability to express our deepest thoughts and sentiments and reveal our true inner selves through the spoken word, is a beautiful gift from our loving creator. We must not neglect it! Real communication goes beyond words. It includes eye contact, tone of voice, and body language. And there are two main components to the act of communication: talking and listening. The latter is not a passive activity; it is an active process that should be practiced and mastered. Learn to listen well, and you will be amazed at what you discover in your spouse’s heart and soul. Today is a perfect day to apply this to your marriage!

DO THINGS TOGETHER TODAY- YOU MAY NOT HAVE TOMORROW

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24.... It is sad to think that you and your spouse must say goodbye someday. Not knowing when that will happen gives you a powerful incentive to live each day as if it were the last one you will share. It motivates you to appreciate each other, cherish one another deeply, and treat each other lovingly. God wants you to live your lives to the fullest every day, enjoying each other and entrusting tomorrow to Him. However, this is not to say that you live only for today, disregarding the future and adopting the philosophy, “Let us eat, drink, for tomorrow we die; (1 Corinthians 15:32). God wants you to live each day with the knowledge that you are eternal beings, and your choices have eternal consequences. It is sad to contemplate the darkness of death, but if you choose to put your faith in Jesus Christ, you have bright hope! You and your spouse may not have tomorrow here on earth, but you will enjoy an eternity in heaven with God who loves and you and created you. There will be endless happiness and joy, and wonder upon and wonder for you to experience together. The joy you share today needn’t be dimmed by the prospect of death; instead, it can shine with the promise of eternal life. It’s your choice. What will you choose today?

RELAX, GROW OLD AND MELLOW TOGETHER

Gray hair is a mark of distinction Proverbs 16:31.... The prospect of aging may seem daunting to you and your spouse. If you are prone to worry, there’s plenty to be concerned about during this stage of life- as true with every other stage. But God doesn’t want you to live your life burdened with worry! He wants your hearts and minds to be at peace. So as you grow old together, relax, be lighthearted and carefree, and don’t be afraid, because God has promised to look after you: “I’ve been carrying you on my back from the day you were born, and I’ll keep carrying you when you are old” (Isaiah 46:3-4). Secure in this knowledge, you are free to enjoy your golden years! With age comes not only wisdom and respect but also certain privileges and opportunities, so make the most of them. Share what you have learned with a younger couple, in this world we live in today…every young couple needs a mentor!

WHEN YOU MARRY COMMIT FOR A LIFETIME

Guard yourself; remain loyal to the wife of your youth Malachi 2:15.... Often grown children of divorced parents approach marriage with a deep appreciation for the value of a lifelong commitment. They’ve endured firsthand the trauma of divorce, having felt the earth-shaking tremors and witnessed the collapse of their home, and they’re determined not to go through it again- or put their own children through it. Most of us, if we haven’t ourselves been at the epicenter of divorce, have sensed the after-shocks among extended family, our circle of friends, or our associates. Like the children of divorce, we would do well to learn from our experience and take promises of matrimony to heart. When you speak your wedding vows, make a deep commitment to God, your spouse, and yourself to keep them for life. Decide in the core of your being that you are in this relationship for better or for worse, come what may. A powerful way to reinforce your commitment over time is to renew your vows on a regular basis. You can do this every year, in a solemn personal ceremony in the privacy of your own home. Or every few years, perhaps on significant anniversaries, you can reaffirm publicly your dedication to one another. Marriage is a covenant and is sacred to God. You will honor the Lord, and He will honor you, if you stay true to your promise. What can you do today to strengthen your commitment to your spouse?

DON’T BE AFRAID TO EXPRESS YOUR AFFECTION

Love one another deeply, from the heart 1 Peter 1:22.... The marriage relationship is multifaceted, precious diamond, and among it’s many qualities are feeling of tender affection. If romantic passion is the sparkling brilliance of the gemstone, fondness is the fire that glows inside, the colors that shimmer deep within. And while the bright white dazzle flashes only intermittently, a close examination of the stone reveals that the colors are always there. Find ways to show your Spouse the fire that glows in your heart. Your gestures don’t have to be overly creative, just simple expressions that say, “I don’t only love you, I really like you.” Sometimes it just takes a few words. Jesus communicated this sentiment to His disciples when He said, “you are my friends” (John 15:15). Sometimes all it takes is the twinkle in your eyes. Whether they are green or blue or brown, your warm look will always display the hues of your affection. And sometimes a mere touch will showcase your fondness. A squeeze of your mate’s shoulder, a hand laid gently over theirs, will help show the colors of your heart. The diamond in your spouse’s wedding ring is perhaps the most visible expression of your tender feelings. Take your partner’s hand, point out the fire deep in the stone, and tell them what it means!

NEVER BE THE FIRST ONE TO GET ANGRY

Blessed are the peace makers, for they will be called sons of God Matthew 5:9.... Instead of being “fasted gun in the west” with your anger, strive to be the first to work at resolution and reconciliation. Proverbs 15:18 says, “Those who are hot-tempered stir up strife, but those who are slow to anger calm contention. The title peacemaker is much nobler! Try to determine if the problem is the result of poor communication or a simple misunderstanding. Recently a mother got into a heated debate with her three-year-old daughter while discussing an upcoming road trip. The daughter seemed to be insisting that she did not want to be buckled into her car seat. “Stand!” she kept saying. The mother told her firmly, “You will have to sit!” The daughter responded in frustration, “Stand!” The argument escalated until the mother suddenly realized that the little girl was trying to say, “I don’t understand!” Sometimes we struggle to find the right words to express a deeply felt need or emotion. We may not even quite understand what we are feeling inside. It may be up to us to ask thoughtful, probing questions and then listen intently for the real message behind your spouse’s words. If you are quick to draw with your temper, you’ll miss this opportunity for constructive communication and deepening your love.

FIRST MAKE A COMMITMENT TO THE LORD, THEN TO EACH OTHER

I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. Psalm 119:106.... Have you considered that when you stood before God, your loved one, and your community and took the vows of sacred matrimony, you not only made a promise to the Lord, your spouse, and the community, you stepped into an institution established by God? Marriage is His idea, His creation. He owns it, you’ve entered it, and you’re bound to abide by His rules which govern it. Marriage involves, first and foremost, a commitment to the Lord. He has taken another person, someone He cherishes, someone He created and nurtured and watched over and guided through the years, someone in whom He has invested great deal and for whom He has incredible plans; and He has entrusted that person to your care. His rules for marriage are meant to provide one He loves with a secure, loving environment in which to flourish. God’s rules for marriage are meant for your benefit, too, because He feels the same way about you. Marriage is a miracle in which the Lord joins two souls so they can experience a special kind of blessing, an inner growth, and an opportunity to glorify Him that they never would have known apart. Make a commitment to God and to your spouse that you will abide by His rules for marriage- and experience everything this miracle has to offer.

FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT MATTER, AND LET THE LITTLE THINGS SLIDE

Having food and clothing, with these we shall be content 1 Timothy 6:8... Life gets crazy busy. This is true whether we’re helping our spouse finish college, parenting young children, or working two jobs to make ends meet. At times it’s easy to become frustrated and depressed because the house is always dusty, the furniture is looking worn, the curtains in the bedroom don’t match the colors of the bedspread, and the car door is starting to rust. It’s hard not to focus on problems like these and begin to devote our time, energy, and resources to fixing them. Yet if we don’t learn to let them go and keep our attention God wants us to trust in Him for everything. And from His perspective even in life’s essentials are little things. Jesus said, “Do not worry, saying, what shall we eat? Or what shall we wear?...seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all things will be given unto you.” At the end of the day, we should be thankful that the Lord has provided us, and our families with a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, and food to eat. And most of all we should be grateful that He has freed us from the need to worry, so we can focus on what’s truly important. How will you apply this in your marriage today

ALWAYS KEEP YOUR COMMUNICATION OPEN AND HONEST.

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. Proverbs 16:13.... “I tell you the truth…” Jesus often began. Then He would do just that. Sometimes He would offer incredible promises, and sometimes He would throw down hard truths. He didn’t always tell people what they wanted to hear, but He never failed to say what they needed to hear. Jesus modeled open and honest communication. It’s critical that you and your spouse keep the dialogue flowing in your marriage, and that you are straightforward with each other. You can resolve problems with honest, heartfelt communication. You may need outside help in a time of crisis, but it all starts with honesty. Never forget that dishonesty can, and will shipwreck your marriage. Invite God into your conversation. He will guide you through the chaos; and you and your spouse will emerge from the experience stronger, more united, and with a deeper understanding of and love for one another.

Weekend Quote (Sat)

To try to find the common ground between the message of the cross and man’s fallen reason is to try and find the impossible, and if persisted in must result in an impaired reason, a meaningless cross and a powerless Christianity. ~ A.W. Tozer

DON’T TAKE THINGS TTO SERIOUSLY

A cheerful heart is good medicine Proverbs 17:22…. Husbands, how do you handle it when your wife bangs up the side of the car while backing out of the garage? Wives, how will you react when your husband tries to fix the washing machine and ends up flooding the laundry room, ruining the brand new carpet in the hall way? The quicker you can see humor in a stressful situation, the better for your marriage! This is especially true with situations that involve destruction or loss of material possessions. Why lay blame and struggle with guilt and bitterness? Since nobody was hurt, the damage is already done, and you know you’ll be telling jokes about the disaster someday, why not just have a good laugh over it now and move on? Laughter takes faith. It requires trust in God, who has unlimited resources and has promised to provide for our needs. Somehow or another He will come through for us. A person who trusts God’s and believes in His power to fulfill them “laughs with no fear of the future.” So the next time things are amiss, just shake your head and chuckle- and think of the stories you’ll tell!

SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER EVERYDAY- EVEN IF IIT’S JUST A FEW MINUTES

There is a time for everything, and a season for activity under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1.... He rushes through the kitchen toward the hall closet, where he grabs his coat. “Have you seen my keys?” he asks as he searches the coat pockets. She spots them on the counter and brings them to him, holding their two year old in one arm and cradling the cordless phone against her shoulder, the doctor says to give her ibuprofen and keep checking her temperature,” she says. “If the fever gets much worse, we may have to take her in.” He picks up his brief case. “Okay, I’ve got to run.” She ends her call and gives a little wave as he heads for the door. Halfway out he suddenly stops. He turns and sets down his briefcase, then hugs his wife and kisses her. After a moment she pulls away, but he holds her tight in a prolonged embrace. Finally the toddler begins to squirm, and he steps back, taking her from his wife. “Are you doing alright?” he asks, looking into his wife’s eyes. “Well, I’m concerned about our daughter”, she answers. He nods and says, “I’ll tell you what. I’ll keep in touch throughout the morning, and we’ll decide together what to do. Okay?” She smiles and agrees. Sometimes emotional connection takes just a moment, yet it means so much. Even on the busiest of days, be sure to grab that moment. Make a point to grab that moment today!

DON’T GET MAD OVER LITTLE THINGS—THEY’LL SOON PASS

Love covers over all wrongs Proverbs 10:12.... Newspaper advice columns often print letters complaining about a spouse’s snoring or some other small irritation. But whenever those letters appear, they are soon followed up with letters from widows and widowers with statements like these: “I used to hate my husband’s snoring, but now that he’s gone, I would give anything to have him lying beside me during the night- snoring and all.” Or they write, “My wife used to nag me about my appearance. But she died, I can see that no one cares about me the way she did.” These people have learned that in the end, those little irritations mean less than nothing. My wife and I are distinctly different individuals- that’s the way God created us. It is the same with you. One of you may be laid back and messy, while the other may be intense and obsessively neat. One of you may be fun loving and friendly, while the other is serious and empathetic. All these types are guaranteed to produce irritations. But that doesn’t mean you have focus on them. Don’t get angry about the little things. Let God help you gain a deep appreciation for your spouse- even for those things that make you CrAzY!

IF YOU CAN’T CHANGE SOETHING LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT

I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content Philippians 4:11.... There are people living in the northern states who, if they had their choice, would move to Florida, where the weather is pleasant year round and they wouldn’t have to deal with ice and snow and freezing temperatures. Some of them withdraw into their homes during the cold season and curse old man winter. But others have learned that the best way to beat the winter doldrums is to dress warmly, and go outside, and get involved in some of the exciting activities that only snowy weather can offer. There are people living down south who think it’s too hot and miss the beauty of the changing seasons. They remember the color of autumn, the splendor of a bright winter morning, the thrill of watching the earth return too life each spring. Some of them loath their environment and long to be elsewhere. But others put on the sunscreen and head to the beach or the golf course and take full advantage of the warm climate. There is no perfect place to live. And there will always be some aspect of your situation that you wish were different, whether it be something about your home, your neighborhood, your workplace, your city, or even your spouse. Many of these things are beyond your power to change. So learn to make the best of things! What will you make the best of today?

ALWAYS TRY YO PLEASE EACH OTHER

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading too edification Romans 15:2.... What delights your spouse? Are you aware of the things that put a smile on their face, a sparkle in their eyes? Do you know how to gladden your spouse’s heart and bring pleasure, gratification, and contentment? Try to discover what pleases your partner. It begins by getting to know your spouse better and better, through observation and communication as you spend time together. Pinpoint your mate’s needs and desires. Then, as you go about your daily lives, do your best to satisfy both. A good way to please your spouse is to meet their expectations. If it’s your turn to do the dishes, make sure you get them done! Even better, exceed expectations. Remember the golden rule, and do for your mate what would please you: a service, a gift, a gesture of affection, anything that demonstrates to your partner that you were thinking of them and wanted to please. That’s the real key. Your desire to make your spouse happy will brighten their day and leave them feeling loved. Do something to please your spouse today!

Weekend Quote (Sat)

It’s easy to learn the doctrine of personal revival and victorious living; it’s quite another thing to take our cross and plod on to the dark and bitter hill of self-reunification. ~ A.W. Tozer

FEEL LUCKY TO BE MARRIED!

Rejoice in the wife of your youth…May you always be captivated by her love. Proverbs 5:18-19.... Sitting at a red light in your unwashed minivan, listening to the kids fighting and the mind numbing songs from the toddler tunes CD, it’s hard not to be envious of the person who pulls up in a shiny, bright-red convertible top down, CD player pumping out real, adult music. Probably single, you think, fighting pangs of jealously as the light turns, and you’re left in the dust. Or perhaps you don’t have any children, but lately you feel as if you’ve been tied to the fence and forced to stand there nibbling nubs of grass while the rest of the herd gallops off across the wide open plain. Ah, freedom, you sigh, greener pastures! Be reminded that in most cases, the reason why so many others are running hard and fast is that they are lonesome and longing for something you already have. Think back- you remember that feeling! But “God places the lonely in families” (psalm 68:6), and He has set you in a loving relationship with the special person He has chosen just for you. Your spouse is heaven-sent, a priceless gift from above. YOU are truly BLESSED! You haven’t been confined to a corral; you’ve been saddled up for one of life’s greatest rides. The thrills are subtle- but the joy runs deep. Today- dedicate yourself to this journey that is like no other…

USE THE COMMMON SENSE GOD GAVE YOU

Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind? Job 38:36.... What is common sense really? If we think of it in terms of public knowledge or universal opinion, we’d better be careful. Although many platitudes are rooted in Scripture and therefore sound enough to build a marriage on, there are a lot of “truisms” out there that aren’t rooted in Scripture and will cause a marriage to crumble and fall. 1 Corinthians 3:19 says, “The wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight.” So perhaps we’d better rework our definition. The good sense we all have in common is, first, the truth God has revealed to humankind in the bible and through His Son, Jesus Christ. Second, this good sense is the wisdom that God freely offers, relating to specific situations, if only we ask Him for it. Third, the God-given ability to reason with our minds and make wise choices based on truth and wisdom He has provided us is also part of our good sense. The Lord has made this type of common sense available to us all- It’s time we thank Him for it and honor Him by using it! Today is the perfect day to put into practice in your marriage!

SPEND AS MUCH TIME TOGETHER AS POSSIBLE

Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together. Matthew 19:6.... In Matthew 19:1-12 Jesus teaches about the permanence of marriage, and in Malachi 2:16 God says outright, “I hate divorce!” He knows the hurt and scares people have from it. When a man and a woman marry, they are meant to stay together. However, God’s intention for marriage is not simple longevity; but a happy, mutually fulfilling, lifelong union. Unfortunately, some couples’ marriages long outlive their vow. For one reason or another, perhaps for economic convenience or for the sake of their children, they remain married physically- but they have divorced emotionally. They inhabit the same house yet live separate lives. A relationship is a living thing, and tie is the oxygen it requires. Are you and your spouse behaving like a married couple these days, or more like roommates?

CULTIVATE THE ABILITY TO SEE EACH OTHER'S POINT OF VIEW

The Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Proverbs 2:6.... Do you know the secret of holograms, 3-D movies, and depth perception? The answer is, it takes two! A split laser beam, a couple of camera lenses, a pair of eyes. With just one, all you get is a flat, one-dimensional image. Add another, and the result seems to jump off the page or leap out of the silver screen. You need your spouse’s viewpoint to more accurately perceive the world you live in. Ask for their input. With the insight your partner can provide, you will better understand not only your mate but also you children, other family members, your friends, coworkers, and associates. Best of all, your spouse can help you to see God more clearly, to experience His grace, to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:18). And if two vantage point give you three dimensions, imagine what a third, omniscient viewpoint would contribute. Prayerfully seek the Lord’s wisdom as you try to understand your spouse, attempt to relate to others, and in everything you do. A Godly perspective will add an entirely new dimension to yours.

HAVING THE SAME INTERESTS ISN’T CRUCIAL

He crested them male and female Genesis 1:27.... Each person is unique. Learn to celebrate this in your marriage! Our differences begin at conception. Every human being is lovingly fashioned by God to be special, distinct, unlike anyone else- and therefore precious in His sight. Long ago, King David said, “You shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God- you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!” (Psalm 139:13-14) Spouses sometimes share a few similarities. But God often joins two people who have vastly different strengths, weaknesses, talents, interests, personalities, and perspectives. The character traits of each spouse complement the other, making the couple stronger, expanding their potential, and creating a life that they could have never known apart. You and your spouse are unique individuals, created and cherished by God, brought together according to His wisdom for His great purposes. Tell your spouse today of one great quality you appreciate in them that you don’t possess!

Weekend quote (Sat)

Our lives are either producing fruit or fertilizer... What is your life producing?

LEARN TO ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES

God causes everything to work for the good of those in Christ Jesus Romans 8:28.... When a cowboy is thrown from the saddle, he can either tens his muscles, stiffen his arms, and resist the fall- or he can relax his body and hit the ground rolling. If he tenses up, he runs the risk of further injury, perhaps torn ligaments or broken bones. But if he roles with the impact, often he will be able to spring right back up, remount his horse, and ride on. A man named Saul, a devout Jew, once took a fall because he was resisting. He was fighting Christianity with all his might, hunting down Christians so they could be imprisoned, tried, and put to death. On his way to Damascus, he saw a great light, fell to the ground, and heard the resurrected Jesus say, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads” (Acts 26:14). Eventually Saul stopped opposing the church, accepted God’s will for his life, and proclaimed the gospel far and wide as the apostle Paul- as unbelievable change of heart. When you and your spouse face adversity, pray for wisdom to know whether to stand firm or roll with the punches. Perhaps God is working powerfully in your circumstances to bring about His plans for you and take you places you cannot imagine!

SPEND QULITY TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE AND YOUR CHILDREN

Sell your possessions and give to the poor….Then come, follow mw Matthew 19:21.... It’s always a challenge to find time to spend with your partner, your kids, even with the Lord. Bu there is one surefire strategy you can employ to make the time you need in order to nurture your most important relationships: simply your life. One of the easiest, most effective ways to do this to get rid of some possessions. The things we own require a great deal of our time, effort, and money. Much of the busyness in our lives is dedicated by the need to pay for, insure, maintain, and repair our material assets. Our possessions also rob of us of mental and emotional energy as we think and worry about where we’ll keep them, how we’ll take care of them, and over how much overtime we’ll have to put in to pay of the credit card we used to buy them. God want YOU to adopt His priorities, which are to love Him and love each other. Making time for relationships involves making some choices. Choose wisely and simplify your life so you can spend time with God and family.

FIND INTRESTS YOU CAN ENJOY TOGETHER

Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless. Isaiah 1:17.... Having trouble finding something the two of you can do together? The bible suggests many activities that would be pleasing to God. If you take any of these ideas separately, think about it awhile, talk it over, and ask the Lord to show you how you could go about implementing it, you may discover a pursuit that both of you enjoy but also find deeply fulfilling. Here are some activities that matter to God: righting injustice, helping the oppressed, sharing the gospel, comforting the brokenhearted, freeing the captives, looking after widows, feeding the hungry, providing drink to the thirsty,, showing hospitality to strangers, clothing the naked, tending to the sick, visiting the prisoners. Can you see the possibilities for involvement? Can you imagine the excitement of working side by side to meet other’s needs, all the while serving God in the process? What better way to spend your time!

REALIZE THAT NEITHER OF YOU IS PERFECT

Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32.... “Nobody’s perfect.” Sometimes common sayings are rooted in eternal truth. God’s Word agrees wholeheartedly with this one! The bible says, “There is none righteous, no, not one (Romans 3:10). We’ve all made mistakes, we’ve all done wrong, and we’ve all fallen short of God’s standard of perfection. God is the only one righteous, perfect, and good. Both marriage partners are flawed, sinful people. No matter how hard we try to make our marriage perfect, we will have t deal with persona failings and hurt feelings. Unless we want to carry around a lot of anger and resentment for the rest of our lives, we will want to learn the best way to handle situations. This is hard truth. But here is the good news….God’s way works! He has chosen to handle failure according to His good nature, which is gracious, patient, merciful, compassionate, and loving. He immediately and freely pardons anyone who asks for forgiveness. And He never recalls it again. If you and your spouse, imperfect as you both are, desire to build a good, lasting marriage, you must remember two things about love: It is slow to become angry, and it holds no memory of grievances. Let today be the day you begin cultivating Christ in your marriage!

COOPERATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A MARRIAGE

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galatians 5:25-26.... Marriage is a partnership. Partners work together to achieve a common objective, for their mutual benefit. The bible describes such a relationship as being yoked together. When two oxen are teamed up, they must cooperate, or nothing will be accomplished. If the animals pull in different directions, the plow will have no effect. The same is true of the marriage partnership. Are you and your spouse straining harmoniously toward a common goal? Or are you moving in opposite directions, bickering and fighting as you strive for separate visions of your future? Have you Identified God’s purpose for you as a married couple, and are you both working hard making sacrifices to fulfill that purpose? If you will allow Him to, Jesus will provide the leadership you and your spouse need to cooperate successfully, giving you purpose, direction, and strength. Though you cannot see Jesus walking before you, His Spirit is present nonetheless; and if you listen carefully- as you pray, as you read the bible, as you’re counseled by other believers-you will hear His voice clearly enough to follow! How will you apply this to your marriage today?

Weekend Quote (Sun)

Hold loosely ALL that is not eternal. ~ Agnes Maude Royden

Weekend Quote (Sat)

Idolatry is not only the adoration of images…but also trust in one’s own righteousness, works and merits, and putting confidence in riches and power. ~ Martin Luther

KEEP YOUR LOVE, YOUR HEALTH, AND YOUR FAITH IN GOD STRONG.

Train yourself to be Godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:7-8....It takes work to keep the flames of romance burning brightly. Kind words, helpful deeds, a listening ear, the willingness to share (remote doesn't count), time together- all are like logs to be placed on a fire, carefully, tenderly, at just the right time and in just the right way. A fire requires skillful stoking, or it will slowly die. In the same way, our bodies need attention. We must eat right, get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, etc… Taking common sense measures to stay healthy is a precious gift we give ourselves and our spouse. It’s also a way to thank God for the bodies he gave us. To remain steadfast, marriage and health demand effort- is it any different in our faith with God? The bible speaks of our need to be encouraged, built up, and strengthened in our faith. We must work out spiritually to keep our faith in shape. It’s important to exercise your body. It’s important to exercise your heart and your love. But it’s even more important to exercise your faith. How will you apply this to your life and your marriage today? Train yourself to be Godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 1 Timothy 4:7-8 It takes work to keep the flames of romance burning brightly. Kind words, helpful deeds, a listening ear, the willingness to share (remote doesn't count), time together- all are like logs to be placed on a fire, carefully, tenderly, at just the right time and in just the right way. A fire requires skillful stoking, or it will slowly die. In the same way, our bodies need attention. We must eat right, get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, etc… Taking common sense measures to stay healthy is a precious gift we give ourselves and our spouse. It’s also a way to thank God for the bodies he gave us. To remain steadfast, marriage and health demand effort- is it any different in our faith with God? The bible speaks of our need to be encouraged, built up, and strengthened in our faith. We must work out spiritually to keep our faith in shape. It’s important to exercise your body. It’s important to exercise your heart and your love. But it’s even more important to exercise your faith. How will you apply this to your life and your marriage today?

ALWAYS BE TOTALLY HONEST AND OPEN WITH EACH OTHER.

An honest answer is like a warm hug. Proverbs 24:26.... Every person has a deep need for intimacy, to know and to be known by another human being. The first man, Adam, felt this need even in the Garden of Eden as he gazed over the wide variety of animals and realized there was none like him. The God gave a wife to be his loving companion. At first there were no secrets in paradise. “Although Adam and his wife were both naked, neither of them felt any shame” (Genesis 2:25). Adam and eve enjoyed perfect intimacy, both physically and emotionally. But after they disobeyed God, they felt the need to hide- from God and each other. Wrongdoing was the enemy of intimacy and trust. When you think about it, why would you want to hold anything back from your spouse or deceive your beloved in any way? You might gain some short term peace. But there is much to lose in the long run. True intimacy begins by being completely honest with God. Confess your short comings to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and acceptance. He’ll give you the power to change. You will no longer feel the need for even the smallest deception. Best of all, the intimacy you long for- with God and with each other- will grow.

YOU HAVE TO LIKE EACH OTHER- NOT JUST BE ABLE TO TALK. BUT REALLY COMMUNICATE!

Try your best to let God’s Spirit keep your hearts united. Ephesians 4:3.... Your marriage is affected by the quality of each of your individual relationships with God. Blessings come to you as a result of your faithfulness to Him. As 1 John 1:7 promises, “if we walk in the light, God Himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another.” Your primary responsibility is to keep God’s commandments and live in a manner pleasing to Him, emulating Jesus in your attitudes and behavior. God changes you and your spouse into loving people as you both spend time with Him, and you then begin to relate to your spouse in a way that encourages closeness, unity, affection, and love. Nurture your relationship with God through reading bible reading, prayer, and obedience. Let God bring His blessing upon your marriage by letting Him teach you loving ways to communicate to your spouse. Today is the perfect day to invite or re-invite Christ back into your marriage!

LEARN TO BE UNSELFISH. ALWAYS PUT THE OTHER’S INTEREST FIRST

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interest of others. Philippians 2:4.... It is healthy for a married man or woman to pursue personal interests and engage in individual activities. This provides an outlet, a sense of freedom, perhaps some exercise, and interaction with others- plus, it makes for a more interesting, well rounded spouse, which keeps the conversation at home lively! However, the level of your involvement in these pursuits must be weighed carefully against the effect it will have on your marriage. We must consider our partner’s needs as well as our own. Recognize how precious and limited the resource of time that God has given you as a couple. Your spouse has a large stake in any decision you make concerning how you spend your hours, because every choice has important ramifications for you both. Too much time apart will both erode the unity and deprive you both as a couple. What can you do today to put your spouse’s interest first?

NEVER GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WITHOUT SAYING, “I LOVE YOU”- AND MEANING IT!

He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Psalm 121:3-4.... As husband and wife, you have a wonderful chance to connect with each other meaningfully every night as you retire for the evening. If you take the time to embrace one another and speak tender words of affection. It’s such a comfort and a joy to drift asleep wrapped in the arms of your beloved, with the words, “I love you” echoing in your ear. You not only sense your spouse’s love, you can almost feel God’s touch and hear his voice! It’s a gentle reminder that He is always watching over you, even as you sleep. Have you come to a place where you simply take each other, and the time God has so graciously together for granted? Remember:” Love must be sincere” (Romans 12:9).

Weekend Quote (Sun)

O God, I have tasted thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to know Thee; I long too be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Weekend Quote (Sat)

God impoverishes only to make rich, becoming in secret Himself the substitute for all that He takes away from the soul. ~ Jeanne Guyon

YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER- EVEN SHOPPING!

My goal is that they would be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. Colossians 2:2.... Life can get so busy that you and your spouse feel more like alienated college roommates than a married couple. How can you get quality time together? Sometimes doing the simple things you have to do anyway can provide opportunities to spend time with your favorite person. Why not get groceries together? You can talk as you walk down the aisles and fill the basket you can make dinner prep or cleanup a very special time as well. Doing the simple things in life together can keep you both in tune with each other because you have regular opportunities to talk over things while you get the things done that need to be done anyways. Take some time and look at your schedule. Think about the things that have to be done each day and find ways of sharing those tasks together!

IF YOUR SPOUSE GETS BOSSY, JUST STAY SWEET!

Gracious speech is like clover honey- good taste to the soul, quick energy for the body. Proverbs 16:24.... Attitude is contagious! It’s amazing how much influence you and your spouse have over each other. You can be moving along in your day, humming a tune, having a great day; but when your spouse drifts by like a little dark cloud, scowling and blocking the sun, ever notice how quickly your sky turns grey? The choice becomes yours. You can either allow yourself to get dragged down into a sullen disposition and provoked into an argument, or you can smile, speak kindly, and spread some sunshine of your own. God calls us to shine light where there is darkness, to respond to bad with good. What will you do today to shed light in your marriage?

MARRIAGE IS NOT FIFTY-FIFTY—YOU BOTH HAVE TO BE WILLING TO GIVE MORE!

Serve each other with love. Galatians 5:13.... We are called by God to long serve one another. Being married gives you the chance to serve another person every day, in ways both large and small. Don’t just give 50 percent, being content to pull your half of the load and worrying about whether your partner is pulling their half; give 100 percent of your effort. If you ask, God will provide you with the energy you’ll need. When you see something that needs to be done, don’t think about whose job it is- simply do it. And don’t seek accolades or gratitude or favors in return. Whatever you do, don’t keep score. Marriage is not a contest in which you and your spouse are pitted against one another. Rather, God has placed you on the same team so you can strive together in victory. How much more will you give today?

TALK THINGS OUT AND NEVER GIVE UP!

Don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9 Each spouse carries a unique load of emotional baggage into a marriage. All of us, too a greater or lesser extent, bear painful memories and relational scars from our formative years. This baggage can cause communication problems between a husband and wife. Often, a person will hear a message vastly different from what their spouse intended to convey. These misunderstandings are common and lead to much conflicts in marriage. Choosing words carefully can help you avoid some of them. Misunderstandings are sure to come, and when they do, the best way to deal with them is to keep communicating. Never give up trying to express your feelings, and never give up trying to understand your spouse. Communication can be hard work, but the rewards are worth it! What will you do to better communicate to your spouse?

WEEKEND QUOTE (Sun)

O God, show me your glory, I pray thee, that so I may know you indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say too my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow you up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ name. Amen. A.W. Tozer

Weekend Quote (Sat)

God is not satisfied until there exists between Him and His people a relaxed informality that requires no artificial stimulation. The true friend of God may sit in His presence for long periods in silence. Complete trust needs no words of assurance. A. W. Tozer

A GOOD MARRIAGE IS GIVE AND TAKE- BUT MOSTLY GIVE!

My own vineyard is mine to give. Song of Songs 8:12.... You possess an incredible gift that you can give your spouse. In fact, you own a vast array of gifts that you can bestow on your partner. The choice is yours. Will you keep your gifts locked up and hidden away, or will you joyfully and willingly present them to your mate as an expression of your love? The asset to which you hold the title, the gift that only you can give, is YOURSELF. Examine the contents in the box before you wrap it, and you’ll discover that there are many little gifts, individually wrapped, waiting to be shared. These are the gifts of time, effort, attention, openness, respect, patience, humility, kindness, touch, laughter, thoughtfulness, romance, acceptance, sacrifice, and compromise. The gift of yourself truly is one that keeps on giving. How will you begin to apply this in your marriage today?

WHEN YOU GET INTO AN ARGUMENT, TAKE A GOOD LONG WALK TO COOL DOWN.

A fool gives vent to anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 26:11.... Some people think it’s always better to express feelings than to repress them. But in the heat of the argument, emotions arise that often are better left unspoken, for thoughtless words can cause frightful damage to a loved one’s heart and soul. And a wound inflicted in an instant may take months to heal. So why not call a “time out?” Cool off and talk about it later. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” The Word of God doesn't say you have to resolve every issue by sun down- simply leave your anger behind. They’ll be time for problem solving tomorrow!

GIVE EACH OTHER PLENTY OF SPACE TO GROW!

God, who began a good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. Philippians 1:6.... To truly love your spouse, you want to see them realize their full potential- physically, intellectually, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. We are called to “grow in the special favor and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). God wants us to become mature, especially in our ability to trust Him and follow His instructions. Therefore you must give each other room to grow. This may mean encouraging your spouse, self-sacrificing for your spouse, and sometimes it also means giving your spouse room to suffer. James 1:3-4 says, “For when you faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.” What will you do today to encourage your spouse’s growth?

SHARE RESPONSIBILITY!

God said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion.” Genesis 2:18.... Looking back at the garden of Eden- God molded for us an incredible plan to assign one partner authority and responsibility, while the other serves as helper. The helper’s role is to offer suggestions and advise, but the leader is the one who decides which course of action to take. The helper must agree to abide by the leader’s decisions. In this way, the work can progress, with both partners laboring together in harmony. And if something goes wrong, it’s the leader’s responsibility—with input from the helper, but no reprehensions- to determine how to make it right. The next time a task presents itself, pull out the captain’s hat (real or imaginary), draw straws, cast lots, or find some other way to figure out who should wear it this time, and hand the other person the first-mate’s cap. Or simply say to your spouse, “okay, today I’m Gilligan, and you’re the Skipper! What is keeping you from sharing responsibility?

NEVER CONSIDER GETTING “UNMARRIED” AS AN OPTION

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. 1 Corinthians 13:7.... How deep was your commitment settled prior to your wedding vows? Every couple should look each other in the eye and solemnly agree, “Divorce is not an option.” If both spouses own this commitment, if they truly lock the door once and for all, they will have made tremendous progress in building a marriage to last a life time. This commitment produces the immediate benefits of both partners experiencing a sense of security, a sense that their hearts are protected, that the relationship can be trusted and there is hope for the future. Do you focus on the problems within your marriage or worry about being abandoned, and entertain notions of escaping? The Word of God says, “You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will received what He has promised” (Hebrews 10:36). God will surely see that you both get the reward you have earned. Have you committed yourself to your marriage for life? If not, maybe it’s time you did…Let your spouse know!

Weekend Quote

We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God. ~ A.W. Tozer

Weekend Quote

God and man Exist for each other and neither is satisfied without the other. ~ A.W. Tozer

PUT EACH OTHER FIRST. DO EVERYTHING WITH YOUR SPOUSE IN MIND

The Son of Man did come to be served, but to serve. Mark 10:45.... There are two ways to go about marriage. One is to think about your needs; the other is to concentrate on the needs of your spouse. If each partner selfishly demands that the other meet their needs, the relationship will be characterized by disappointment, resentment, and bitterness. On the other hand, if each partner lovingly strives to fulfill the other’s need’s the marriage will be characterized by mutual satisfaction, gratefulness, and joy. If you trust God’s wisdom and focus on your partner’s needs, the likelihood is you’ll be doubly blessed! You can’t find an easier day than today to put this into practice for the rest of your life!

REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE APPLIES TO YOUR SPOUSE!

Do for others what you would have them do for you. Matthew 7:12.... What is your duty has a husband or a wife? Jesus once said, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘ Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the other demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40). Who is your neighbor? If, as a married person, you were to ask Jesus this question, He would tell you that you have many neighbors, the closest of who is your mate. Be the best of neighbors to your spouse! Treat your partner exactly as you want to be treated- with honor, respect, gratitude, gentleness, civility, patience, kindness, humility, politeness, thoughtfulness, forgiveness. God’s command to you, His desire for you, can be summed up in one word. How will this change your marriage today and forever?

ALWAYS BE HONEST, FAITHFUL, AND TRUE TO EACH OTHER.

ALWAYS BE HONEST, FAITHFUL, AND TRUE TO EACH OTHER. I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called faithful and true. Revelation 19:11.... Marriage is the greatest, most intimate opportunity you will have in your life time to minister to another person. Only you can’t do it on your own. To make the most of the opportunity, you must look to Jesus to both teach you and make you able to love each other. You begin by learning more about Jesus and striving to emulate His perfect love. He is the only one that can change us. The secret of the Christian life is that Jesus Himself turns us into new people- the loving kind. “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on new self’(Colossians 3:9-10). Spend time talking with Him about teaching you to love and making you more like Jesus today.

IF YOU SPEAK IN HASTE, APOLOGIZE WITH HASTE, TOO!

Rash language cuts and maims; but there is healing in the words of the wise. Proverbs 12:18.... Harmful words come so quickly! Emotions rise, and before the rational mind can intercede, haste causes the tongue to lash out angrily, wounding the person most dear to you. You feel regret, but then pride prevents you from speaking words of apology, words that soothe hurt feelings and restore your relationship. You have two enemies to contend with: haste and pride. If you lose the fight with the first, you must win the battle with the second, or the war may be lost. If haste defeats you, and you find you have sinned by saying something you shouldn't have, subdue your pride and apologize. In short term, pride brings a temporary breakdown in your relationship; unchecked, it could result in the collapse of your marriage. SAVE your marriage. Dispense with pride by humbling yourself and offering a heartfelt apology. Is there an apology long overdue…owed too your spouse?

ALWAYS BE BEST FRIENDS WITH YOUR PARTNER

This is my lover, this is my friend. Song of Songs 5:16... What is a friend? Acquaintances, even close friends and family members, will walk with awhile along life’s road and then depart, but Proverbs 18:24 says, “A real friend sticks closer than a brother.” In your spouse, God has blessed you with a friend for life, who will share the panoramic views and the difficult terrain- and one day celebrate with you the journey’s end. “If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” A loving spouse will pull you up, affirm your worth, and encourage you to strive ahead. Your best friend is the one you want to with most, the one you choose to talk to first whether the road is smooth or rough, the with whom you want to share your thoughts and feelings, the one whose opinion and advise you seek. A best friend is all of these. But mostly, according to Proverbs 17:17, it is someone who cares deeply: “A friend loves at all times.” May your best friend always be your spouse! What will you do today to demonstrate your love is at ‘ALL TIMES” to your best friend, your spouse?

Weekend Quote

There are two reasons for loving God: no one is more worthy of our love, and no one can return more in response to our love. ~ Bernard of Clairvaux

Weekend Quote

The greatest need of the human personality is to experience God Himself. This is because of who God is and who and what man is. ~ A.W. Tozer

EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS-JUST STAY TOGETHER AND WORK THEM OUT!

I look pp to the mountains- does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth! Psalm 121:1-2.... God wants to ensure that you and your spouse are not alone in your marriage- He wants to be an integral part of your union. He is always present, always available, always ready to help you through any difficulty if you will follow His commands. Inevitably trouble comes. Often a disagreement will break out, tempers will flare, and soon an impenetrable wall has risen between you. Communication has broken down, leading to isolation, frustration, and despair. God has unlimited perspective; He can see over a wall. He perceives with utter clarity and can lay bare the root of the problem. Sometimes it is a simple misunderstanding. Sometimes God will provide one of you with insight into the other’s deeply felt and unexpected needs. In any case, God will reveal to each of you your share of the blame and prompt you to humbly seek forgiveness, leading to reconciliation and unity. Then you can rejoice, saying, “He tore down the wall” (Eph 2:14). Make God a partner in your marriage today; and He will make your marriage strong for all your tomorrows!

DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; Your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the Lord. Psalm 128:3-4... Families today are pulled apart in so many ways. Business keeps everyone on the run, with little time to share a meal or meaningful conversation. Television, computers, video games, and CD players isolate family members within the home; and work, school, sports, and myriad of entertainment options separate them without. A husband and wife must intentionally make time to spend together as a couple, and time for everyone to interact as a family. This doesn’t preclude the above activities; doing together is more rewarding than just being together! The secret is to resist the pull toward disconnection. Pray about this. It may take some creativity and effort in today’s individualistic culture, but with God’s help you can keep you marriage and family intact. After all, His promise in Psalm 128 include the blessing of togetherness. How often are you actually doing thing s together?

LOVE ALWAYS TAKES MAINTENANCE- KINDNESS IS A BIG PART OF THAT!

Be kind to one another; tenderhearted. Ephesians 4:32..... Maintenance to your home requires a great deal of money, time, and effort. A broken shingle must be replaced, a torn screen mended, a squeaky hinge oiled, a leaky tap fixed. Yet how great it is to live in a house where the roof keeps out the rain, the windows keep out the bugs, the doors swing freely- and never the sound of a dripping faucet is heard! While “love maintenance” may not require a lot of money. It does require a lot of time and effort, and of course, kindness. Observe the interactions in your house, and then compile a “to do” list (and a “not to do list”). Pay special attention to the little things, which make such a big difference in a relationship. The bible says (twice!) “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping” (Proverbs 19:13). It’s a warning husbands should heed to as well. Get busy on those lists and discover how enjoyable and long-lasting a well maintained marriage can be!

LEARN TO BEND AND NOT BREAK

Blessed is the man who trusts on the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. Jeremiah 17:7-8.... Throughout you marriage life has a way of throwing a wrecking ball right in the middle of things. Business layoffs, family illnesses or injuries, financial crises, time pressures, break downs in close relationships, problems at work, misunderstandings at home- all these, and some far more devastating, threaten to snap a marriage n two and bring it crashing to the ground if a couple is unable to endure the blows. If your marriage is to survive you must possess a kind of supple strength. Sometimes supple strength involves a willingness to adapt to change. It means letting go of circumstances you are trying to control and leaving them to God. When the dust finely clears, the landscape around you may be drastically altered, but your marriage remains intact, standing firm, and continues to thrive in its new environment. Are there some places YOU need to bend in our marriage?

PART OF HAVING A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS DEVELOPING SIMILAR INTERESTS.

Come dear lover- let’s tramp through the countryside. Let’s sleep at some wayside inn, then rise early and listen to bird-song. Let’s look for wildflowers in bloom, blackberry bushes blossoming white, fruit trees festooned with cascading flowers. Song of Songs 7:11-12.... Friendship is such an integral part of romance. The joy of sharing experiences- sights, sounds, tastes, aromas, sensations- will abound as a husband and wife explore and revel in the delights of God’s creation. Having fun and enjoying life together is one of the greatest benefits of married life, and it forms a tight bond that can cement a marriage through the years. Spouses truly should be best friends. Developing common interests helps ensure that you and your spouse will draw closer together over time rather than slowly drift apart. Best of all, It fosters an intimacy that goes far deeper than friendship, because it involves one of the chief ingredients of a happy, successful union- quality time shared together. What will you do today to begin building the friendship part of your marriage.

ALWAYS TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE A LADY

Husbands,be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect. 1 Peter 3:7... Showing a woman honor and respect involves so much more than chivalrous gestures such as holding a door, rising politely at the dinner table, or laying one’s coat over a puddle of rainwater. A husband’s treatment of his wife like a lady begins with his attitude toward her. Do you truly value your spouse, or do you take them for granted? Do you view your wife as a gift from God, or as more of a burden, “the ol’ ball and chain”? The bible describes a wife of noble character as her husband’s crown” (Proverbs 12:4), “worth far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). A Godly wife is a treasure to be cherished, deserving her husband’s highest compliments and praise. God is calling wives to be true ladies, kindhearted and worthy of respect; he is calling husbands to be gentlemen, and to give their wives the honor they have earned. How will you demonstrate this in your marriage today?

TAKE THE DAYS ONE AT A TIME. SOON FIFTY YEARS WILL PASS- BUT IT WON’T SEEM LIKE IT.

Oh, satisfy us early with your mercy, That we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14.... A lifelong marriage is built day by day. It is made of days that seem momentous and days that seem mundane. Yet everyone is important. Everyone is indispensable. As you and I live out each day with our spouse to the fullest potential, sharing its joys and challenges, our days will steadily join together like the masonry in a sturdy brick home, forming a relationship that is solid and secure. Such a relationship, built on the sure foundation of faith in God and commitment to each other no matter what the days may bring, WILL STAND FOREVER! What will you do today that will make today momentous rather than mundane?

NEVER LET A DAY GO BY WITHOUT TELLING EACH OTHER, "I LOVE YOU."

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Proverbs 25:11... The words “I LOVE you” are powerful. They can build you up individually and strengthen you as a couple. They can encourage you and remind you of your lifelong commitment to each other, of the reasons why you chose to walk through this life together. Those words never wear out and they never go out of style. STOP….right now take a moment with your spouse…hold hands, gaze into each other’s eyes, and whisper “I LOVE YOU.”

TAKE TIME TO WORK THINGS OUT

Many waters cannot quench love; rive cannot wash it away. Song of Songs 8:7 There have been many times in our marriage when the difficulties life brings; have made us feel like we were in the midst of raging waters. It was easy for me to panic in that fear of being overwhelmed. Until I was reminded that I am not fighting alone. God has promised, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you” (Isaiah 43:2). Trust the Lords promise, call out to Him, and cling to Him. He’ll take you safely to high ground. What is the single most important problem you need to work through today in your marriage?

YOU CAN ALWAYS WORK THINGS OUT IF YOU WANT TO

There are three things that will endure- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13.... There have been times when I have felt that things were at their worst, and during those times I have been tempted to give up not only hope but question my very faith. I have wondered why God would allow us to suffer such awful circumstances, when I’ve done my best to obey Him. But the Word tells us that once we are in His hands, He will never let us go. Our faith maybe tested, but he won’t allow it to die. Maybe you’re in a season where you’re feeling the love between you has grown cold, and there seems to be nothing left between you. Be reminded like hope and faith, LOVE never completely dies. Trust God despite every reason to quit, He will prove Himself trustworthy. He will rekindle the embers in your hearts and fan the flames until they are burning steady and strong. For the rest of you...what will you do today preparation for the strength of your marriage during the worst of times?

Communicating Kindness

Kindness is communicating that someone is valuable through our actions (Smalley). How will you communicate kindness to your spouse today?

WORK AT BECOMING CLOSER

This is my command; love each other as I have loved you. John 15:12 There are an abundance of things I can do to foster feelings of romance, but if I want to experience true intimacy with my wife, I must first plumb the depths of Christ’s love, then give her a love that runs as close to those depths as possible. The journey toward intimacy with your spouse lies along the pathway of obedience to God. We are commanded to love each other as Jesus loves us. What would loving your spouse like Jesus loves us look like? What would you do to reach that kind of love? If it means flowers, do it. If it means picking up dirty laundry, cleaning the bathroom, bathing the kids, encouraging them, or giving them a quiet moment at the end of the day, DO IT. Take the time to become closer today!

DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE

DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO EXPRESS YOUR LOVE Little children, let us not love in Word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our hearts before him. 1 John 3:18-19 True love- everyone’s searching for it. But how do you know if you have it? How do you and your spouse express your love? Take a moment and write down those things that quickly come to mind. How many of those ideas you wrote down moved beyond the materialistic? Perhaps you, like me came up with many awesome ideas of gifts, and should certainly be used from time to time, but none of those things can prove your heart to be true. The ONLY way to know if you have true love is to see whether it stands the test of time. Has it endured hardship, boredom, and pain? Has it weathered life’s busyness? Has it withstood the pressures of job, family, and home, the stresses of middle and old age? Time alone will tell. Respect each other, encourage each other, and serve each other minute by minute, hour by hour. You determine whether the love you have is true over time…You can begin right now!

NEVER GET TO OLD TO HOLD HANDS

NEVER GET TO OLD TO HOLD HANDS I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Psalm 73:23-2 It is said that it starts with a tiny fist wrapped around a mother’s finger. It continues with a young hand held gently in one much larger. It endures through puppy love, adolescent relationships, and courtship. And if we are wise, it extends into marriage, through middle age, beyond the golden years, to the very end of life. Why would two people ever stop holding hands? Hold your spouse’s hand throughout your life together; don’t ever let it go until the day when you've fulfilled every marriage vow and finally release it from your grasp, placing it lovingly, trustingly into the hand of God!

HAVE FUN JUST BEING TOGETHER

HAVE FUN JUST BEING TOGETHER 1 Timothy 6:17 God…gives us richly all things too enjoy In all the busyness of your life; when was the last time you took the time to simply have fun with your spouse? Solomon said, “I commend the enjoyment of life” (Ecclesiastes 8:15). Have a good time with your spouse. Enjoy each other’s company. It doesn’t have to take a lot of money (or any for that matter) to have fun if you think of creative ways to be lighthearted and playful together. Have trouble with creativeness…Reflect on the One who provides you with so many blessings. Who fashioned and breathed to life the incredible person with whom you delight to share it all! Go ahead-Have some FUN!

YOU ONLY GET OUT OF MARRIAGE WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT

Whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 2 Corinthians 9:6 Several years ago we owned a house and had our front yard re-landscaped. New grass, a new flower bed arrangement with a water fountain, and new ground cover along with new flowers. After the installation was complete. I was not able to merely sit back and enjoy the new landscape. No, I had to work continuously keeping the weeds out, the ground cover cut. I had to constantly water everything, and the lawn had to be mowed each week. If your marriage is going to last a life time, it requires the same level of devotion and energy. Each must be available to the other when needed, fully present, ready to listen, to talk and to act. Both spouses must pour their heart and soul into the landscape of their marriage, making whatever sacrifices necessary to ensure success! The payoff is a rich, healthy, loving relationship that lasts. Sound Good? Devote time and energy to your marriage.